Maribeth Wilder Doerr

Shades of Healing ~ Creating a Wholehearted Life

51 Things . . .

on August 19, 2010
Mari Unplugged

Mari Unplugged – no makeup, wrinkles showing, the REAL me

As my way of being authentic and opening up my voice, I decided to follow the lead of several bloggers who have taken their age and used that to come up with that number of things to tell people about themselves, either things they’re too shy to tell you in person or things you probably don’t know about them.  I thought it might be fun until I realized I’m older than these incredible bloggers so my list is longer and more boring!

And yes, I’m a boring girl.  I haven’t done a lot of exciting things but I don’t aspire to.  I find joy and delight in simple things; I don’t have to travel far and wide for excitement.  So, here it is in no particular order of preference . . . my list of 51 things I’m too shy to tell you or things you may not know about me:

  1. I am shy and introverted.  I have about a 3 hour limit of being with a lot of people and then I have to be alone to recharge my batteries.  I’m somewhat of an emotional empath, and according to the Myers Briggs testing, I’m an ISFP – introversion, sensing, feeling, perceiving – which seems to sum me up quite well.
  2. I’m neither left nor right brained; I’m down the middle which explains why it’s hard for me to make decisions at times when my logic and intuition do battle.
  3. I am hearing impaired and may be completely deaf at some point.  I also have constant tinnitus in both ears.  It’s a real trip when each ear is playing a different tune!
  4. I was married the first time at 19 and a virgin – I don’t recommend either (getting married that young or being a virgin).
  5. I gave birth to a preemie stillborn son one month before my 20th birthday.  I gave birth to an overdue son 3 years later who died at 5 1/2 days.  It took me 8 years to have a healthy baby.
  6. I was a baby sister with two older brothers who have both died.  I hate being an only child after being the spoiled baby for 40 years.
  7. I’ve had a near death experience.
  8. I find something to be grateful for every single day.  I’ve experienced a lot of loss and struggles in my life.  The best way for me to go on is to be grateful for all that I do have rather than dwell on what I don’t.  Life can be very hard at times, but it’s also very very good!  Yin–yang!
  9. I went to 5 different grade schools, 2 different junior highs, and 1 high school (although we moved to a different house while I was in high school).  All of this moving disrupted my ability to make and enjoy friendships.  I vowed not to do this to my kids.  My sons have gone to 1 grade school, 1 middle school, and 1 high school and lived in the same house during that entire time.  Mission accomplished!
  10. The first time I saw my 2nd husband, a voice in my head said I would marry him someday.  We were just passing by in a courtyard at work, and I had no idea who he was.
  11. My parents didn’t give me a middle name.  I always felt weird without a middle initial so when I got married, my maiden name became my middle name.  My middle name is Wilder than yours 😉
  12. I hate talking politics and religion with anyone, including my family.  I’m registered non-partisan just to prove my point.
  13. I was born on my mother’s 31st birthday and every now and then, our birthday falls on Mother’s Day.  My poor dad living with two Taurus women!
  14. I’ve had a crush on Al Pacino for years.  YUM!  My nephew used to tell my husband when I had a bad day that Aunt Mari needed a margarita and an Al Pacino movie!
  15. My biggest regret – I never finished my Bachelor’s Degree.  I have an Associate’s but big whoop.  I do have to admit that not having a Bachelor’s hasn’t held me back in any way.
  16. At age 10, I prayed to God that I would wake up a boy.  The first time I wore panty hose, I climbed a tree and ripped them to shreds.  No wonder I ended up with all sons!
  17. My husband and I were married at Waimea Falls, Hawaii with 200 people watching.  We didn’t know any of them; a tour bus stopped as we were saying our vows and they all got out to watch.
  18. I started a non-profit organization for bereaved parents in 1988.  I matched parents by the types of losses they had.  I was the director for 8 years and during that time, we had separate groups in Canada and Australia.  In my group we helped over 2000 grieving families.  It’s the most rewarding work I’ve ever done.
  19. I used to do a lot of public speaking.  Yes, this shy girl!  I once gave a speech at the National Black Nurses Association’s annual conference.  It was an amazing experience.  I’ve also spoken at a press conference at the National Press Club in Washington DC – another amazing experience.  I was also interviewed on the old Home Show with Gary Collins and Beth Ruyiak which was just weird.
  20. I’ve never broken a bone.  I’ve cracked my tailbone and sprained a few things but never broken anything.
  21. I was a band geek!  I played the flute for 7 years in school and was in the high school marching band.  I wish I had continued playing in college.
  22. My favorite Mother’s Day activity is driving to Oakland and going to an A’s game.  See how lucky my men are 😉
  23. I’ve been a Denver Broncos fan since I was a teenager.  Long live John Elway!  I may be a calm quiet girl until I watch the Broncos – then I’m LOUD.
  24. One of my sons is named after Eric Clapton and a Hall of Fame baseball player.
  25. I have two butts . . . according to my sons when they were little.  My cesarean scars run from belly button to pubic bone, separating my stomach muscles so it looks like I have a butt in front.  My poor boys thought that’s how all women were made.
  26. I had a hysterectomy at 32, and that scar runs from hip to hip.  Now it looks like I have an anchor on my stomach or the cross, depending on which angle you’re looking from.  It’s easier to take if I think of it as the sign of the cross (or a blessing as a nurse once told me in a Catholic hospital).
  27. I make the best chocolate chip M&M cookies in the world.  I hate to cook but love to bake and those are my specialty.
  28. I tear up every time I hear the Star Spangled Banner sung live.
  29. I was addicted to pepsi and coke until 2004 when I developed pancreatitis and was the sickest I’ve ever been in my life.  I haven’t had coke or pepsi since and my teeth are thanking me.
  30. I’ve had long hair for the last 15 years and I don’t care that people say women over 40 shouldn’t have it.  Pfft to you.  Sure, I’d look younger and more hip with a short do but it’s too much fuss for me.  Long live my ponytail and French braid!
  31. I’ve lost 40 lbs two different times in my life.  It’s probably time to start on #3!  I’ve had eating disorders for a good chunk of my life and was addicted to exercise for awhile.  Hard to find balance!
  32. I love road trips but hate flying.  I haven’t flown since 1999.  Hubby and I hope to travel the country with a camping trailer when we retire.
  33. I have a zany sense of humor and love to laugh.  Life is too short to be cranky all the time.  I’m blessed to have a silly family!  I love hearing people laugh and noticing how unique everyone’s laugh, and even giggle, are.
  34. I believe one of the keys to good parenting is respect – you have to respect your children as the unique individuals they are instead of trying to make them into whatever you think they should be or clones of yourself.  Respect your kids and they’ll respect you!
  35. I envy people who can pick up a pencil and draw.  I used to be able to sketch quite well when I was a teenager and somehow along the way, I’ve lost that completely.
  36. I love to spend rainy days curled up with a quilt and good book.  Love to read!
  37. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving – family and food!  I always cook and for 2 days, my house is clean and the fridge full.
  38. I was a waitress for 5 long days in high school.  I was terrible at it.  After trying to make a milk shake and having the metal container fly off the machine slopping chocolate shake all over a table of customers, I left and never tried it again.
  39. I’ve lived in the same house for 20 years (after moving constantly as a child and in my 20’s) and I hope I never have to move – EVER.  My house is old, cluttered and falling apart but I’ve raised a happy family here.  It has good vibes to it.
  40. I am an obnoxious gum chewer.
  41. I’m a fabric fondler.  Anyone who quilts knows what I mean.  🙂
  42. Yoga makes me feel new.  That’s a damn wonderful thing when you’re 51!
  43. When I get hungry, I have to eat NOW.  My youngest son wants to get a bumper sticker for me that says, “It’s not road rage; she’s just hungry.”  My husband used to carry crackers in the car for emergencies and called them anti-bitch biscuits.
  44. I love techy gadgets but no iphones, smartphones or whatever for me.  I have a cellphone for emergencies and I usually forget to turn it on.  I’m just not a phone girl!
  45. I have to live in an area with mountains.  I actually feel panicky when I’m in flat places and can’t see hills or mountains.  I need something to visually break up the elevation for some weird reason.
  46. I collected TV Guide covers from 1972 until 2004 – 32 years worth of covers.  I stopped when they went to the larger size and it was more of a magazine.  I have no idea why I started this bizarre collection.  The funny thing about it now is I rarely watch TV.
  47. I don’t watch the news or read newspapers – too depressing.
  48. My favorite reason to go to the movies is to eat tons of buttered popcorn.
  49. I taught Sunday School to 3 & 4 year olds for 5 years in a Lutheran church.  Taught is probably not the right word; we did a lot of craft projects and eating snacks.
  50. I love to plant container gardens in pots.  Mixing different flowers and plants makes me feel like an artist.  I had 120 pots one summer.  I like to dig in dirt!
  51. I hosted an internet radio show for StorkNet Family for 7 months in 2007.  It was exhausting but fun.  I really loved it!

So there you have it – Mari unplugged.  It’s a huge leap of faith to write all of that, baring myself so that you all know how boring I am – but I’m a happy person and one of my next posts will be about finding delight.  I’ve been inspired by Jen Louden‘s August topic in her Comfort Cafe.


8 responses to “51 Things . . .

  1. kelly carrico says:

    Wow Maribeth, I never knew how interesting you were, even though we were sister-in-laws. But you are the kind of person I could be really good friends with. I wish we lived closer and could be closer in our lives.

    Like

  2. Caryl says:

    What a great list, Mari! I really enjoyed learning more about you. And I (or my family) can completely relate to #43. Me, too!!

    Like

  3. Anne in Virginia says:

    Maribeth, yours doesn’t sound like a boring life. You’ve chosen to go deep rather than to range all over, perhaps in response to moving so much in childhood. Your list radiates contentment, good humor, and the ability to take yourself lightly, despite some harrowing experiences. I share your need to eat NOW when I’m hungry; I’m never more irrational than when I’ve let my blood sugar get too low.

    Like

  4. Paige says:

    Some of those things I already knew, so you need to make up a few more to cover the lack! 😀 I thought I liked potted arrangements. I only have 30 this summer. But you have me beat! Loved the list. Wonder if I can come up with 46 things no one knows about me?

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  5. Dawn says:

    I totally relate also on 43. I have had to make rules for Jim about this. Waiting until 2pm is not acceptable for lunch etc…. You are not boring at all.

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  6. SO many things that resonate here – but first and foremost I want to say: WHAT a great picture!!!! And then I’ve got to say I am in awe of a woman who KNOWS how long she can take being around people — I’m an introvert in an extrovert phase, lol.

    I love being around people, but have to be alone to recharge — only i have NO idea how much time it takes before I’m drained – sigh. I’m going to try to notice that, as you’ve done!

    Like

    • Karen – my youngest son is the one who pointed out how long I can handle being in a crowd. LOL – he’s such an extrovert but my oldest son is very much like me. Youngest son is studying to be a clinical psychologist so he pays attention to this stuff. It’s amazing how helpful it is to know how long you can handle it without feeling crushed and wiped out.

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  7. […] Journey to Health Posted on September 15, 2010 by maribethdoerr As I mentioned in my 51 Things, I’ve been eating disordered for a good chunk of my life.  A few days ago, I had an amazing soul […]

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