As a mom who lost her first babies, I worked hard to contain my paranoia that I would love one or both of my living sons. As they grew older, it was easier to manage my worry. However, all bets were off as soon as they got their drivers licenses – 3 months apart! I barely had time to adjust to one teenager driver when I had another, and teaching two to drive at the same time is really a head trip! Even the strongest of mothers goes through worrisome moments when their babes start driving.
I live in Northern Nevada where there is 24 hour a day access to alcohol. I didn’t worry so much about my teenagers driving skills as much as the drunks and idiot drivers on the roads. Add winter weather and icy roads, and it’s enough to send my heart into tachycardia. I did, obviously, survive the teen years of driving only to panic all over again when my sons turned 21. Legal drinking age adds yet another element to worry. I’m grateful that my sons are responsible, and they’ve always known that the worst thing they could do to their mom was worry her needlessly. Cellphones do have some useful purposes in that regard!
With my busy boys, another test of worry is their road trips. They both lived away for college for a time which meant driving 10 hours south for one son and 2 hours northwest for the other. They also drive to the Bay Area for sporting events which means driving over the Sierra Mountains. It’s a gorgeous drive but treacherous in the winter.
Sigh . . . it’s a part of motherhood. It’s certainly not something you think about when their babies. And BAM! Sixteen years later they learn to drive, and life changes in a profound way. You can’t watch over them every single minute. What do I do? I pray, I ask my angels to send legions of angels with my sons on their travels, and then I let go of it. If I don’t, I’ll make myself sick with worry (and I HAVE made myself physically ill with worry) and life is too short for that.
Today, I’m very grateful that my youngest has returned home safely from a weekend baseball tournament. I’m grateful every time I hear that car door in the driveway and the key in the lock, no matter what the time. I utter a very heartfelt thank you to God, my angels, their angels, and the universe for looking after these two extraordinary young men.
Safe travels boys!