Maribeth Wilder Doerr

Shades of Healing ~ Creating a Wholehearted Life

#reverb10 – December 1-10

on December 11, 2010

Per the authors, Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.   I’m jumping in a bit late but jumping in I am.  Here are my responses for the first ten days which are short and probably not so sweet.

December 1  –  One Word

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Awakening. There really is no other word to describe my year that comes as close as awakening.  After being in a pit for three years, I spent 2009 putting aside my fear to climb out of that dark place.  During 2010, I not only woke up to my surroundings but my essence came back to life as well.  I’m not sure what my life path is yet, but I KNOW I’m on that path and I’m content and curious to not know exactly what’s ahead of me.  That’s a huge part of my awakening – not being fearful of not knowing the next step!

The word for 2011 – that stumps me a bit.  My theme for 2011 will be self-trust but I’m not sure that I can pick a word to describe how 2011 will unfold yet.  What I’d love is for those reading this now to return a year from now and say “BRAVA” for whatever it is I’ve accomplished.  I don’t expect to save the world or cure cancer in 2011 but I intend to show up every single day with love in my heart , hope in my arms, and light in my eyes.  If I can do that, then BRAVA will be my 2011 word.  Brava Mari!

December 2 – Writing.

What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

P.r.o.c.r.a.s.t.i.n.a.t.i.o.n.

Can I eliminate it?  Yes.   I know why I procrastinate—fear and feeling as though I don’t deserve the “play” time to write.

As to the fear—I’m making progress there.  I like to “metta-fy” that fear as the incredible Janice Lynn Lundy would say.

May I feel safe; May I feel strong; May I feel happy; May I live with ease.

Remembering to metta-fy my fear is the key.  I’m planning to create a ritual before starting to write that includes the Metta.

Not deserving the play time—that’s simply absurb and a nasty weed thought.  I’m replacing this weed with a seed thought:  I work hard; I deserve to play hard as well!

December 3 – Moment.

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

This one is for us sappy women.  You all love puppy stories and if you know me at all, you know I got a new one this year.  We lost my sweet Sandy in August 2009.  I never knew you could be so connected to a dog as I was with Sandy.  For the first time in 19 years or some astronomical number, we were petless, having just lost the last of our Homeward Bound crew.  I knew it wouldn’t be fair to a new dog to get one too soon.   About four months later, I put in an order for a new German shepherd puppy with our Steffi who had died 8 years ago (the matriarch of the Doerr Family Homeward Bound crew).  I know – sounds nuts but bear (or is it bare?) with me.  I asked Stef to send us a sweet sable colored German shepherd who wouldn’t be too high drive since we were a lot older now and wouldn’t be able to keep up with a typical shepherd puppy.

It took another four month before that “perfect for us” puppy came into our lives.  He was exactly what I ordered except for the HE part.  I am so surrounded by testosterone!  That “moment in time” came when we drove out to the farm to look at the pup.  When we pulled up, the entire family (and the entire family of dogs) were sitting on the front porch.  One puppy came barreling off the porch to sniff my shoes and that was our Rolf.  The theory is a German shepherd always picks you, rather than vice versa.  All these dogs and the only one for sale was the one who happened to run over to check me out!  The tears came (told you this was a sappy puppy story) and even though I’d wanted a female, we brought this little boy home.  He sat on my lap for 2 hour ride (and at nearly 15 weeks, he was more than a lapful!)  and I buried my nose in his fluffy neck and inhaled.   Joy.  Pure and simple.

It’s seven months later and Rolf is joined at the hip with my husband.  Go figure.  He chose me but he’s now daddy’s boy.  ♥

December 4 – Wonder.

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

This will be short and sweet . . . my mantra for aging is never ever lose your sense of curiosity.  Once you do, that’s the day you get old.  With that mantra, I never have to cultivate a sense of wonder; it’s always with me.  Hmmm, perhaps that’s one of my gifts?  Make note of that Mari.

December 5 – Let Go.

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I’m a work in progress on the topic of letting go . . . fear, procrastination, people who don’t get me, clutter, self-doubt . . . and I think the why is obvious.   So there – another short and probably not so sweet one.  I hope to have quite a tale of letting go this time next year.

December 6 – Make.

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Joy.  I make joy every single day and the materials use was a smile and a positive thought.  It’s easy; try it.

I’d also like to finish the 12+ quilt tops I have stacked in a closet.  I need to make the quilt sandwich with the batting and backing, then quilt them finished.  But I have issues with procrastination and quilts . . .

December 7 – Community.

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I’ve discovered some beautiful community this year with Jen Louden’s Comfort Café (actually, that was last year but I have to mention it), The Love More Project on Blog Talk Radio, and I’ve made some incredible Twitter friends this year.  For 2011, I would like to continue with my BTR community and continue meeting and connecting with Twitter friends.

December 8 – Beautifully Different.

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

As Karen Caterson would say, I’m a square-peg person.  If you read my 51 Things, you’ll see some things that make me different.  I don’t own a cellphone let alone a smartphone.  I don’t watch TV except for sports and the weather channel.  I hate shopping.  I thought my boys were amazing teenagers.  I don’t like romance novels.  I refuse to talk politics or religion with anyone, and I’m neither Republican or Democrat.  While I’m deeply spiritual, I don’t connect with any one religion anymore.  I talk to angels and trees (most plants actually).  I’ve been married to the same man for 25 years (as of December 28) and we’ve lived in the same house for 20 years.  I’ve have constant chronic tinnitus.

I don’t know that any of that lights people up though!  It doesn’t even light me up.  My husband would tell you that the light and twinkle in my eyes lights people up.  I do tend to smile a lot and almost always, people smile back at me.  I’m a good listener, and if you have something to say, I love to listen.  I’m a good cheerleader and love to give rah rahs.

I love to learn new things and don’t presume to know it all so part of what makes me a good listener is that I will learn something new from you J  I think everyone has something amazing about themselves to share and finding out what that amazing thing(s) is/are is a source of joy for me.  But that describes what lights ME up more than how I light people up.

December 9 – Party.

What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenannigans.

I am such a homebody!  I can’t think of a social gathering that rocked my socks off because I can’t think of a social gathering I went to that didn’t involve family.

December 10 – Wisdom.

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

This is rather personal, dontcha think?  I could list a few here but they’re not ready for primetime players so I’ll just say getting the new dog was a wise decision, even though it’s been a hugely chaotic experience.  My husband hasn’t worked in four months other than making the rounds each morning looking to get a contract or two.  He has, therefore, spent a lot of time with the puppy—training, playing, and getting outside.  It’s really helped with his stress level and he’s enjoying life again with the little monster.  Yes, truly a wise decision overall!


2 responses to “#reverb10 – December 1-10

  1. Elayne says:

    Procrastination. Yup, that’s my problem, too. Here’s to both of us getting (and staying!) in gear!

    Like

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