My husband and I are big fans of M*A*S*H, especially when we’re sick or stressed out. One of our favorite episodes is when Frank gets mad at his tent mates yet again and yells “OH YOU GUYS!” at them. It sounds so silly. Anyone else would blast them with a few swear words at least, but Frank just yells a silly retort, twists his lips and stomps off.
I’ve never really thought my anger manifested like Frank’s but today, it did. I had a list of phone calls to make (something I really detest) including canceling my parents’ phone and cable tv service. The phone company was wonderful so one task ticked off the list. Feeling optimistic that the cable tv company would be a similar experience, I dialed in and waited. It seems that because the account is in my dad’s name only, he’s the only one who can disconnect the service (the phone was in Dad’s name only but it was no problem to disconnect at all – thank you AT&T!). I explained that he has dementia and wouldn’t really understand what they were asking. Too bad – I have to take him to their office. Do they think he’ll understand better in person? No – I have to take him in so they can see that he has dementia. Isn’t that nice? I will have to drive him to their office and put him on display. He’ll be confused and frustrated at not understanding their questions which means that entire day will be a disaster for us as these feelings just don’t go away in a few minutes.
The lady taking my call was, to be clear, very nice, and she was only doing her job. But seriously, this was just one more bit of frustration that I didn’t need. I admit I got angry and as it bubbled over and out of me, I said much louder than I normally speak (okay, it was probably yelling) . . .
The phone company was great about this and you guys . . . well you guys are just THE WORST!
I slammed down the phone and boy did that feel great. That’s the thing with cellphones—you really can’t slam them down when you’re mad. I was on my parents’ landline (the one I’d just ordered a disconnection for from AT&T without a bit of hassle) and I slammed that baby down with everything I had. I’m surprised it didn’t come off the wall. I was instantly filled with guilt. I’m just not a screamer and that poor lady who was trying to be nice was just doing her job, yada yada. Man, I’m just evil.
And then the Frank Burns scenario popped into my head and I giggled . . . and then I laughed. Oh, it’s a terrible thing to yell ‘you guys are just the worst’ into a phone before slamming it in someone’s ear. Why couldn’t this lady have just ticked off on her computer that my dad said “yes” to her lousy question? Would anyone have really known or cared?
When I told my youngest son (Chad who is 22), he said, “Oh Mom, that’s just awful” and then rolled his eyes at me. My husband immediately called me Frank Burns! LOL! Great minds think alike! He’s been teasing me all day by saying, “Oh you GUYS” in his best Frank Burns voice. We decided that if my mom had been talking to that woman, she would have unloaded both barrels on her besides slamming down the phone. Ms. Charter Cable’s ears would have been smokin’ compared to what I said. I really chuckle thinking about that. I’m willing to bet Mom was watching from Heaven and getting a kick out of me, probably saying GOOD FOR YOU MARI!
And that’s the thing – find the giggles wherever and whenever you can. Laugh at yourself as you walk this road. It really does lighten things up. I think we’ll watch some more M*A*S*H tonight. Here’s to you Frank!