November is flying by and yet I feel stuck in a time warp of hospitals and nurses and delirium . . . Life sure does throw you curve balls and fast balls. It’s Thanksgiving week and I admit, writing a gratitude for each day is truly hard right now – at least thinking of a gratitude beyond my basics, namely my husband and sons. Oh, I have a lot of basics, and I know I’m blessed, but when you’re doing through a difficult situation with no end in sight, it’s so very easy to forget how blessed we are. I just want this stressful situation to be over . . . NOW. And it’s not up to me . . . it’s another lesson in letting go and letting God.
November 22 ~ Keeping My Sense of Humor
Laughter really is the best medicine and I’ve talked about it a lot in this blog. Today was so distressing that when I came home from the hospital, I told my husband that I wanted to go somewhere where people were laughing. I wanted to hear people having a good time! We took our sons and went to Applebee’s where babies were laughing and flirting with us, and everyone had a smile to share. Listening to a baby’s giggle will cure almost any melancholy! Thank you sweet babies for reminding me how sweet life can be even in the midst of chaos.
I have a list of cheesy movies I watch to get me laughing. Spending time with my sons gets me laughing. Attempting to hula hoop always sends me into hysterics because I’m SO bad. Putting on 80’s dance tunes and shaking my booty makes me laugh. And when I forget what makes me laugh, my husband or sons will always remind me. Laughter is first a physical release and then the nervous system calms down. It’s certainly my medicine of choice these days, even when I think laughter isn’t possible. 🙂
November 23 ~ Your Prayers
We’ve been so blessed since my Dad’s accident with the outpouring of prayers from friends, family, and even strangers. Even my Dad’s doctor today told me she is praying for him. I am so grateful for all of you and your support during this incredibly difficult time. Thank you!
November 24 – Thanksgiving Day – Enough to Eat
It’s Thanksgiving Day, normally my favorite holiday of the year. This year was very different without my mom, and my dad is still in the hospital. My little family of four pulled together, and we went out to eat. We had a wonderful time. Today, I’m thankful not only for my little family but that I have plenty of food to eat (way more than enough). There are too many people in this world who don’t have enough; I’m one of the lucky ones. (As a second gratitude, I didn’t have a gazillion dishes to wash after dinner!!!)
November 25 – Dad Recognized Me!
For the first time in 9 days, my dad knew who I was when I walked into his hospital room. The day went downhill from there but the psychotic delirium is over! PROGRESS!
November 26 – Quiet Day
I am so grateful for a lovely quiet day without drama, without added stress . . . a day to chat with family and curl up on the couch reading. It’s exactly what I needed.
November 27 – My Feet
Do you take your feet for granted? I do. They get me where I need to go but I really don’t consciously think about my feet. For the last 25 days, I’ve trekked across the hospital parking garage, over a long bridge from the garage to the hospital, and then through the hospital to the back end where the elevators are to my dad’s room. It’s a long haul! Multiple times a day! And my feet are getting me there without complaint. After seeing my dad’s feet strapped into boots to keep his heels from dropping, not to mention the countless people I’ve seen in wheelchairs with broken feet and even missing feet, I’m REALLY grateful that I not only have feet but feet in good condition. Sounds trite? Maybe, but life is easier with healthy feet and that’s something to be thankful for!
November 28 – My Mom
I lost my mom on July 30, 2011. We just went through our first Thanksgiving without her. Thanksgiving was a special day for the two of us. We shared my kitchen for years as we cooked and chatted the day away. I miss her so much, but as I sit in the hospital day after day with my dad, I’m glad she doesn’t have to experience this heartbreak. I’m grateful that I got to have my mom for 52 years, I’m grateful for all she taught me (however unwittingly), and I’m grateful how involved she was in my boys’ lives. They truly miss her too. Thanks Mom!
November 29 – My Health
This is another one that may sound so cliche but after spending the month in the hospital and seeing all sorts of ill and injured people, I am so grateful for my health. I’m not the healthiest person on the planet and that is mostly my own doing by not taking good enough care of myself, BUT I have the option of changing that and a lot of people don’t. This experience is teaching me not to take my health for granted and to take it into my own hands!
November 30 – A Doctor Who Gets It
Today I had a long chat with my dad’s doctor. Ironically, this doctor is the one who saw him originally in the ER after his accident. He was called in to take over his case a week ago and we saw each other today. He wanted to let me know that he hadn’t forgotten Dad but he was in a quandry over what to do next. I so appreciated him at that moment for admitting he was stumped, that he didn’t have all the answers. I asked a lot of questions as I’ve been wondering what to do next as well. He mentioned that they are trained to do everything possible to save lives but there are times when that isn’t necessarily in the patient’s best interest and he felt that’s where we were with Dad. I agreed and I’ve been worried that we were simply prolonging the inevitable. At the end of the chat, we both felt better knowing we were on the same page and could proceed with Dad’s best interests at heart. ♥