Maribeth Wilder Doerr

Shades of Healing ~ Creating a Wholehearted Life

PEOPLE NOW! Put a Little Love in Your Heart

on September 14, 2012

I feel a rant coming on. I’ll start with a little tip toe down memory lane. Back in 1968 when I was a wee child, Jackie DeShannon wrote and sang a simple song called Put a Little Love in Your Heart. I can still hear the beat of that thing. It was a little cheesy but it was a hit song of the times – a radical time of “make love not war” and lots of self-exploration. It’s 44 years later but I’d say we’re in a similar era of culture – war and conflict and lots of self-exploration. The difference now is the way we communicate. You’re never out of took with a cellphone in your pocket. Don’t want to face someone, just text them instead or send an email. Faceless communication and that lays some fertile for people to behave in ways they wouldn’t if they were face to face with someone.

We also have 24/7 news and social media; it seems that everyone has an opinion and feels the need to express it via blog posts, blog comments, facebook status updates, and tweets. When there isn’t enough “real” news, media fuels the feeds by creating stories designed to get people talking – and arguing. It’s enough to make us all insane, cynical, hypercritical and way too judgmental (and yes, that’s my own judgment talking – I am not immune).

Feminists have been talking about the war on women for years. Adding to that particular issue are the mommy wars. Think that’s an exaggeration? Just check out any mommy blogger, mommy website or message board and see the opinions on breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, natural birth vs cesarean, circumcision or intact, SAHM vs WOHM . . . I get a headache thinking about it. Why do we believe our way of parenting is the right way and if someone is doing it differently, they’re doing it wrong?

Bullying doesn’t stop when we’re kids, and some people, unfortunately, find themselves easy targets. Then it seems the schoolyard bullies come back to life and take criticism to a new level – especially when they can do it anonymously. If we think they’re a bad parent, then their appearance and everything about them becomes to fodder for gossip. Remember Octomom? Enough said about her. How about Tan Mon? Last Spring, she was in the news for allegedly taking her 5-year old daughter to a tanning booth causing first degree burns. Mom says her daughter was sunburned in their backyard. Only this woman and her daughter know what truly happened, but the public was outraged (and yes, I agree that if a 5 year old is taken into a tanning booth to tan, the adult should be prosecuted!). However, the news surrounding this story went beyond reporting the case. The media hounded the entire family, and Tan Mom’s appearance was the butt of late night talk show jokes, tabloid stories and an amazing amount of other gossip. This woman’s history was dug into and written about, and nothing about her was off-limits including her children. People! This is so unnecessary!

And why?? A child may or may not have been hurt; the legal system was checking into that. So why the intense media attention on the mother’s entire life and appearance? The media wouldn’t have bothered if people weren’t interested in the story after the initial report. Why was it okay to make such intense fun of this woman’s appearance, dig into her background for more things to criticize, and bring such negative attention to the rest of her family who simply wanted to be left alone? Would any of us want to be subjected to such scrutiny? She deserved to be prosecuted if she did, indeed, take her daughter into a tanning booth to tan. But we all seemed to forget innocent until proven guilty in this case, convicting her in the court of public opinion which then seemed to make it acceptable to ridicule everything about this woman. Who was more crazy in this case – Tan Mom or the media or the people interested in reading the crap the media wrote?

Even when a woman has done something extraordinary, we find a way to criticize. In this case, it was a teenager . . . Olympic gold medalist Gabrielle Douglas, 16 years old, found out how cruel people can be. She made history by being the first African American to win the individual all-around Olympic gold medal in gymnastics. She’s also a delightful role model for girls, and yet, people were criticizing her hair! What?! Why?? What do we gain by criticizing others and pointing out their faults?
Perhaps it’s boredom; we’re bored with ourselves and bored with our lives. Maybe we don’t feel good about ourselves . . .

Unfortunately, we are taught at a very young age that women are defined by their beauty. We are bombarded with the same disturbing messages that promote unrealistic, impossible standards of the female form. ~ Kimberly Riggins, Writer, Coach & Body Image Expert

We’re raised with unrealistic impossible standards. It’s human nature to compare ourselves and if we don’t measure up, let’s find something wrong with the other person to bring them down to our level and lower. Let’s think about this . . . every moment we waste judging and gossiping about OctoMom, Tan Mom, the Kardashians, et al is time taken away from ourselves and our families. What if we dropped those thoughts? What if we became more interested in ourselves and our own lives? What if we did what Jackie DeShannon suggests in her song and put a little love in our hearts. Sound cheesy?

Perhaps . . . but in this hard-shelled world, we’re currently living in a society where a 16 year old’s hair is criticized more than her Olympic gold medals are applauded . . . a world where we’re more interested in a $10 million dollar wedding for a marriage that lasted 72 days instead of feeding the 500,000 homeless people in America . . . maybe a little cheese in the way of putting a little love in our hearts makes sense.

As women, if we have love and compassion in our hearts for ourselves, we can truly change the world. How? For starters, we give ourselves permission to be human, to make mistakes without fear of harsh criticism. When we feel good about ourselves, we can feel good about others and extend love and compassion to them instead of criticism and hate. Don’t agree with someone? Be a role model and extend your thoughts with kindness and then let it go. Let’s give each other permission to be human and make mistakes. Then watch the ripple effect of your love and compassion!

Check out Jackie DeShannon singing Put a Little Love in Your Heart on YouTube.

Put a Little Love in Your Heart
Written by Jackie DeShannon, Randy Myers, and Jimmy Holiday

Think of your fellow man
lend him a helping hand
put a little love in your heart.
You see it’s getting late
oh please don’t hesitate
put a little love in your heart.
And the world will be a better place
and the world will be a better place
for you and me
you just wait and see

Another day goes by
and still the children cry
put a little love in your heart.
If you want the world to know
we won’t let hatred grow
put a little love in your heart.
And the world will be a better place
and the world will be a better place
for you and me
you just wait and see

Take a good look around and
if you’re lookin’ down
put a little love in your heart
I hope when you decide
kindness will be your guide
put a little love in your heart.
And the world will be a better place
and the world will be a better place
for you and me
you just wait and see
put a little love in your heart each and every day
put a little love in your heart there’s no other way
put a lttle love in your heart, it’s up to you
put a little love in your heart . . .

I’d love to hear your thoughts!


4 responses to “PEOPLE NOW! Put a Little Love in Your Heart

  1. laiknits says:

    Well said, Maribeth!

    Like

  2. Thanks Ada! Miss you darlin’! ♥

    Like

  3. Beautiful and eloquent rant. In my book, you can rant any time you want to!

    Like

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